We are desperately searching for an answer to this question.
What is more? More connection with life, more meaning and fulfillment, freedom and expansion, more…wholeness? Yes, deep inside we know that everything exists and it is so close…but we still can’t reach it. It burns from inside but can’t come out. Each day we ask our selves “why am need more than others around me?” and anyhow we can’t stop need more…
So many courses we have attended, so many books, teachings we are familiar with, practices we’re holding on to…but we are still not there… experiencing wholeness. Did we lose the path? Do we have a path?
Sometimes we are balancing on the edge between depression and a wish to quench this thirst with some magical drug, an injection which gives us this desirable feeling of wholeness. But we know that this is not the way, even walking on the edge is hurting and sometimes it’s incredibly painful… We instinctually know or we’ve already had experiences with a state of expanded consciousness which brings us there… to wholeness, oneness, bliss, emptiness… How to stay there or how to reach this state whenever we wish? We are trying, we are practicing, we are meditating, we have good times and we have bad times in life. But after all we are holistic women, we are seekers, we are brave and we have faith in guidance of our own soul and anyway we still are longing for more…
But what should we do when we stuck in this state of desire for too long? Because we must fix some other things before, or we still feel like something is missing inside of us and we have to wait for showing us who we really are. And after all that, we become exhausted, sick and allso we can’t remember what we are seeking, what we have a thirst for, we only feel a heavy suppressed feeling in the chest like a grief for something that didn’t happen in us in our lives. We know so much, but we can’t use it to help ourselves. We feel powerless to make any change…we are stuck, we are frustrated, we continue to lose power and now we feel that we really aren’t capable to find the way back…And it feels like anything in the world cannot quench this thirst and fill up this emptiness.
Anyhow we still have some moments in our lives when we feel so close to filling up this gap. We feel heat and vibration from our soul fire, we are sure about who we are and where we are going, and about what this burning desire is. We see a clear vision of our mission in this life, we feel passionate inspiration and courage, strength and power to follow this vision and we are trying to hold this state as long as we can…
Somehow when we look back in our conscious life, we are constantly waiting and looking for this inspired state of mind and soul, which gives us power and keeps us on the path, which nourishes us from the endless source… Inspiration which becomes an intention and resonates with our hearts, awakes our sleepy souls and makes us alive. An intention that has the force to throw us out from our comfort zone and is stronger than our fear … An Intention which gives us meaning, joy, fulfillment …and maybe leads us to wholeness.
Can we remember the feeling when we got the inspiration or deep insight to choose a certain path in our life? Not from the mind, but from soul or spirit or source… Which ever direction it was to choose in life: education, friend, partner, job, teacher, action, fellowship… What happened, what did we feel, when we followed our own heart, own soul to make that choice?
All we wish is – to keep this state when we are in contact with our soul, our essence – someone who knows and whispers to us through our feelings.